Does A Woman’s Clothing Really Make Men Want To Rape Them?

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“Oh, that pork looks yummy! Guess I can’t control myself now, better have a bite at it!”  Assuming you’re a Muslim, do you realize how stupid and preposterous this sounds? Yeah, I thought so. But, wait a minute. I’ve heard something similar: “If a woman is not dressed ‘properly’, she is inciting rape.” And this is popular opinion in the society I live in.

Right. So, a few months ago, I was completely taken by surprise when a person tried to partially justify the perpetrator of a rape case. “See, if the woman was dressed properly, he wouldn’t have done it. It is these women who need to dress up properly, only then can rape be minimized.” I couldn’t believe my ears, and I wanted to shake him up! “What the HELL is wrong with you?”

The Quran was sent down for a purpose. And that purpose is to read it in Arabic and earn rewards develop the reader’s character to the point where he is a responsible, productive, and a noble human being. Yes, a human being who makes informed choices instead of an animal that just follows its impulse.

Chapter 12, which narrates the account of Yousuf (Joseph), deals extensively with character development. It is here that we learn a vital lesson on curbing desires no matter what the situation at hand. As you might (and should) know, the lady of the house in which Yousuf was brought into, tried to seduce him sexually. But, when she tried to advance at him, what did he do? He resisted. He didn’t give into that weak moment. In fact, he immediately became conscious of evil, and sought protection from Allah.

“The lady of the house, tried to seduce him. She closed the doors and said, “I am all yours.” He said, “May God protect me! Truly, He is my Lord and He has bestowed upon me a good moral character and granted me a position of honor. The wrongdoers do not prosper.” Quran: 12:23

 

This speaks volumes about his character! Mind you, he was only young when this incident happened. But this young man realized that no matter how strong the incitation be, only he was responsible for his actions: a perfect role model on issues pertaining to modesty.

These are the role models that need to revived among Muslims! If we are oblivious to them, how can we ever emulate them? Mind you, following the prophets does not equate to following their cultural norms. Otherwise, wouldn’t we be still riding camels? What we have forgotten is the fact that we were commanded to follow their character! No great man would want his followers to adopt his culture, rather he would want them to adopt his morality, ethics, and character. Let’s please not fall into the trap of being penny wise, and pound foolish.

Now, I do advocate modest clothing, but more importantly, I also advocate developing one’s character to the point where external factors don’t affect your behaviors. What good did religion do to you if you can’t even control your impulses? We have got to stop cherry-picking verses we want to follow, and instead embrace the message holistically.

No matter what a woman is wearing, we as Muslims, are commanded to guard our gaze (24:30). It’s not the clothes that incite rapists; it is the sick mindset of such people that is to be blamed and addressed.  Instead of sympathizing and standing up for the victim, we have come to the point where we try to justify the perpetrator? Does it get any worse than this?

 

Still not convinced?

For those of you that still think clothing is a factor in rape, ask yourself this: “What about the children who get raped? Are their clothes ‘provocative’ too?” Let that sink in.

So, what is the solution?

Unless we start addressing the real issue here, we simply cannot make any progress. The first step to overcoming a problem is to identify it. Hence, instead of exhausting our efforts on how women should dress, we should more importantly deal with issues such as attitude towards women, and educating/sensitizing men.

The biggest problem, in my view, is the “macho” crap that is widespread in every society. As men, we are brainwashed to think that it is “alright” to play with the feelings of a woman and to use them for our petty desires. This becomes further encouraged when their male peers cheer them when they do such acts. This, I believe, is the fundamental cause of the oppression done on women. On a personal level, we need to take a stand against this.

In addition, unless men become sympathetic to the problems that surround women in their daily life (such as being cautious at all times), we cannot expect empathy and compassion between them. We have got to stop objectifying women, and treat them how we treat women in our households. How would we really feel if our mothers, daughters, and sisters had to go through this? Would we still blame them?

I really hope this changes your perspective. And that you become a voice for the oppressed.

P.S – Just to clarify, I am not implying that only Muslims think this way. This is a popular opinion in many societies. My point, however, is that considering the teachings of the Quran, Muslims should be the last people to believe in such an irrational statement. We have a gem of a reformation program in the form of Quran, and this is what needs to be propagated to Muslims.

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9 thoughts on “Does A Woman’s Clothing Really Make Men Want To Rape Them?

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  4. The so-called ‘Muslims’, mostly the hadithers of course, tend to brag about rape rates in Sharia countries vs modern countries. But they do not realize that they just take the rape rates at face value!

    In Sharia countries such as Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Pakistan, rape VICTIMS often just keep their mouths from reporting because they do not want to get punishments, being honor-killed and being hated. In those countries, rape victims are punished and put to jail by being charged with adultery and sometimes their punishments are higher than the lowly rapists. Rape victims are also often denied justice for failing to bring four witnesses of the rape incidence, called sluts, insulted, forced to marry rapists and even honor-killed so who dare to report when they are raped?

    Unlike in modern countries, rape victims are not punished, Instead, rapists are the ones who receive punishments. And I have read somewhere that in Norway (as far as I know) many of the rapists are immigrants from Sharia countries. Shame on them.

    Who are rape victims? Can be anyone. There are also young girls that have been raped by their own fathers. Aren’t fathers the girls’ related men? So blame the young girls’ clothings too? People rape because of their intention to rape people. Rapes are planned. Rape is not an uncontrolled sex drive that comes suddenly. Rapists rape to control the victims. Even some men have been raped (sodomized) too. Rape mostly occurs during war. Rapists rape women (and men) of their opponents.

    Men who do not or never have the intention to rape anyone will not rape anyone even if they see women without clothes walking in front of them. They will look at something else instead because they think the women are just annoying. Remember, rapists do not give a damn what the people they want to rape wear.

    Based on my observation, unfortunately, “Muslims” are the top rapists sympathizers / Rape victim blamers. Sad.

    I have written about rape to on my blog
    http://talkingleopard.blogspot.com/2014/02/something-about-rape-that-nik-aziz-pas.html

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  5. I generally agree with everything said here. Joseph (God bless him and keep him) should ABSOLUTELY be our role model so that even if a beautiful unclothed woman who we had no intention of marrying stepped before us we would have the nobility to drop our gazes and turn her down. Or vice versa. However, we must keep in mind that people are a work in progress. It’s easy to turn down a pork sandwich (for some) but it’s harder to turn down something that perhaps you dream of one day having on your own (preferably in marriage) stand before you. Well…in this case we are not talking about rape, but more about fornication but we are in the same ball park. In the case of rape, forcible rape is indeed horrendous. No one should force themselves on someone who does not desire them or threaten them with the same purpose. But I must add that rape cases are not always so simple. And more women than you think perversely seek or crave that sort of attention, accept it and then guilt, shame or fear of discovery drives them to claim rape. Women can also use claims of of rape as a tool for control or vengeance. It sounds unthinkable, but it happens. Women have also been known to send very mixed signals to men who are consumed in their desire for a woman, she may then acquiesces to that man’s advances which she may see as threatening but he doesn’t. In the end no one should EVER rape another being, PERIOD. However we should always be aware that we are not always in the company of the most noble and that everyone has their own demons that we should not try to tease out of them. It is a known fact that men IN GENERAL have a much more aggressive/assertive sexual nature than women. This mixed with the exhibitionist and yet more sexually timid/passive nature of women in general does not always make for a civilized combination. I’m not justifying rape at all. If the beast is wild, cage it or kill it. But don’t go taunting it either in order to see it at its worst and then claiming to perfectly justified in that behavior, letting all the blame fall on the wild beast. People have all sorts of demons and it is best to encourage the best out of people and not the worst. In most cases of actual, provable forcible rape, we know that it is more about exerting power over someone you may view as less than you are not able to help themselves, which is tyranny and is a detestable sin and a crime against humanity. Given all that I’ve said I can’t see how any sensible man can lose sight of the fact that all people have basic human rights to not be molested, oppressed on harmed in acts of aggression. With that said, women also unfortunately overestimate the strength of men and have been known to beat on them until they break or to use that as a proof of why they can only be victimized and not be perpetrators, which is also a violation of men’s human rights as well.

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  6. Applause…well stated. How refreshing to hear this from a man. I believe that all of us should dress and behave with acceptable decorum but nothing other people do excuses us from keeping our integrity. Keep writing…there are many besides your fellow Muslims who can learn from your thinking and your courage to speak out. Pat from Source of Inspiration.

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    • Thank you, Pat! It is truly sad to see how women are objectified and blamed for the heinous acts of man.
      Everyone must feel responsible, for nothing can “tempt” you if you really are a noble person.

      I hope that this serves as a wake up call for some. 🙂

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      • Many people can not, will not accept responsibility for their own behavior so seek to blame others. Thank you for speaking out about the abuse of women (and children, I am sad to say). That being said, it would be better for all of us to dress, speak and act with honor and integrity. Unfortunately, “fashion” dictates some very tasteless and revealing get-ups. We all need to look at this and ask what it says about our values. hugs, pat

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